Different Places

The wife has her own career. She may be a few years younger, may have started her career later on, or taken some years off when the children were young. Now, she's busy fulfilling her goals. He's ready to settle down, play golf, travel to exotic places, or simply kick off his shoes and stroll along the beach. Their careers are now at different places: her career is kicking into gear, while his is winding down.

Now is not the time to say, "See ya." Now is a time to appreciate each other while staying together. Of course, it's easier with some advance planning. Unless she's just hitting the workforce while his retirement party is being planned, there will be some overlap in their careers. They need to talk about the direction they will be taking as a couple when his retirement comes up in three, five, or 10 years.

He needs to plan how he will spend his time enjoying the things he wants to do without her, such as hobbies or days on the golf course with his pals. He should respect her career and what it means to her. He should not expect her to walk away from what is important to her. She needs to let him to enjoy his new lifestyle while remaining focused on her goals. She should not expect him to hang around the house, or do the chores, while waiting for her to retire.

Many couples find if they set aside some time to listen to each other and appreciate their respective lifestyles, they not only feel connected but also take pride in what they are doing. For some, particularly where a wife has been a homemaker for many years while her husband has been working long hours, or frequently traveling on business, it can provide a sense of role reversal. If both husband and wife feel comfortable and secure with their own new roles, they can have some great times and good laughs about the new direction they've taken. Mutual support and respect are the keys.