Emotional Aspects

Typically, retirement planning professionals focus their efforts on finances. However, there is another side to this story. Though managing the emotional transition doesn't get the attention it deserves, there is new research that shows people tend to focus on retiring to something rather than from something. They seek to find new lifestyles that make them feel good inside. Additionally, baby boomers are becoming increasingly aware there may be many years ahead of them. They are looking find things to do that will make them feel happy, fulfilled, and productive.

Planning Together As A Team

You bought a home, raised children, and survived the good and bad times together. Therefore, your impending retirement may not be the time to surprise your spouse with your sudden dream of moving back to North Dakota. From an emotional and financial standpoint, you should prepare for your retirement years together: facing your fears and sharing your dreams, including the ones that may need to be ironed out over time.

Communication is very important in planning for retirement. Good communication between partners ties in very closely with how well they handle the emotional aspect of this lifestyle change. Talking about individual dreams and future plans is imperative. What kind of retirement lifestyle is he looking forward to? What does she see in her picture of retirement? What will he do with himself every day? How will they get along?

According to Dr. Phyllis Moen, professor of sociology and human development at Cornell University, the transition from working to retirement is both stressful and emotionally difficult for most couples. In her recent study of 534 married couples who were either retired, or about to retire, Dr. Moen found that while retirement itself was a happy time for couples, the transition (defined as the first two years after leaving a job) was a period of marital strife for many men and women. However, these statistics do not show an increase in divorce rates, indicating that most couples do indeed work things out. I would compare this to the first two years of a marriage, when a couple is familiarizing themselves with a new lifestyle.

Reality Check

The examples in this section on Emotional Transitions reveal several common scenarios which many people face during the first months of retirement. Depending on your situation, they may provide a useful basis for continued discussion, planning, communication and compromise.