This Isn't What I Had Planned

Denise and Fred planned for retirement several years before he left the company and she retired from her editorial position. They planned to travel, then settle in a retirement community where they could both enjoy playing golf. Then, less then two months after the retirement party, Fred had a major heart attack from which he did not recover. All of a sudden, Denise was alone. "This is not what I had planned," she cried.

Unfortunately, the plans we make may change along the way. An ongoing illness or the loss of a spouse can change everything. Suddenly, you're alone, and you have to rethink all of those shared plans. "It's so unfair; this isn't what I planned."

I always try to get my clients to postpone major decisions during times of emotional crisis. Working through a loss can be very emotional. It can take a long time to adjust. Most often the financial plan will remain, the money will still be there, alleviating some of the stress. Time, however, spent doing the smaller and simpler things in life, is usually the best way for someone to begin to put his or her life back together. It's a very rough transitional period.

If a person can surround himself or herself with people-be it friends or family-he or she can focus on just getting by for a while and moving forward in time. It may not be the retirement lifestyle this person had planned, but sometimes the circumstances are simply out of anyone's control. Down the road, most people will find happiness with a new plan. The key is to postpone major decisions. Allow for time to heal.